Our Own Angel in Heaven

Grace and Kate- this blog is a living history of your lives.  I enjoy writing down all the milestones in your lives, all the silly things you do and all the moments we have together.  I debated this post for a while and have decided to write it because it's part of our history, our family history.  You have a sibling that should have been born on Kate's 2nd birthday.  It was going to be perfect- we always wanted three kids, I wanted them about 2 years apart, Kate loves babies, Grace is an awesome big sister/helper, it was all falling into place.
Grace, we took you to the 8 week ultrasound to tell you you were going to have a new sister or brother.  I knew that the baby would have limbs at this point and it would be special for you to see.  We didn't tell you at all what we were doing so thank goodness we never had to explain the heartbreak that would begin to unfold at that appointment.  When they couldn't find the baby we all tried to remain hopeful because you were in the room.  I was upset you had to witness it at the time but in hindsight, you really kept us together.  But you are so smart and observant, when I looked at you you had your entire hand in your mouth- a few fingers is what I usually see when you are nervous.  You knew something was really wrong but you were so sweet to hold our hands as we left the doctor's office.
The next few days were a bit of a blur.  After a few more consultations with the doctor I had exploratory surgery.  They were able to determine I had an ectopic pregnancy, locate the baby and terminate the pregnancy safely.  From what the doctor has explained and what I have read, it was a miracle I didn't have any serious complications from having an 8 week old baby alive in my fallopian tube and I thank God for protecting me.
I had several weeks of recovery from the surgery and thanks to your daddy's great support and help from family and great friends, we made it through this struggle a stronger family.  One of your daddy's clients sent us a rosary to remember the baby with and a sweet note.  The note pointed out how lucky we were to have our own angel in heaven to protect our family until we all meet in heaven.  And it's true- we have our own angel.

I'll Be There, Author Unknown
Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mommy please don't cry
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus
and he sings me lullabies.
Please don't try and question God,
Don't think he's unkind
Don't think he sent me to you,
and then he changed his mind.
You see, I'm a special child
and I'm needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you
and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest start that's gleaming
That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there,
planting kisses on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
and your heart feels a little tug
That's me giving your heart a little hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad and Mommy please don't cry
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies